Fabulous Fiscal Finish

The annual End of the Fiscal Year Grill and Brew Fest was held, ironically, on the end of the fiscal year – June 30th. (Yes, this was posted in July. Since June 31 was eliminated from the calendar this year [see below], I didn’t have much time to get at this. Sorry about that.) The only thing “annual” about this event is that June 30th is the traditional end of the fiscal year. The “grill” and “brew fest” part is debatable at this time and can be properly evaluated a year from now. Mark (and Helen) was gracious to host this “annual” event this year for interested participants.

Most of you know that knowledge is power. In Mark’s case, he got his hands on some book about grilling and has been sharing his version of “fact or fiction” regarding all things grill related. He has even been so bold as to attempt some of the ideas that he garnered from said book. On this occasion he gave the old college try on a pork shoulder. I say the “college try” because he needs to work on his focus and dedication to the task. He went big on this task but wasn’t up to the responsibility that was required. Fancy meat thermometer or not, this was a giant leap from grilling a couple brats. A pork shoulder is a “in it for the long haul” event and Mark wasn’t adequately prepared for the endurance needed physically and emotionally. Sometimes knowledge is a dangerous thing (for some people).

The physical aspect is easily enough addressed: Mark needs to chase more chipmunks, rabbits and birds around his property. Yes, he does trek the steps of the Dorothy Doors (when open) but that alone does not equate to the physical stature needed to pull off this undertaking.

The emotional part will need to be addressed himself. His excuses of being distracted because of having to talk to “important people” about some possible career change and move doesn’t fly when it comes to dedication to the grill. As to not heap too many burning (or not) coals upon his head, I will spare some of the details from this dialogue. He may have a delicate side that bruises easily.

When all was said and done, everything turned out just fine – eventually. Good thing everyone (except Dave) was off the clock and could spend the extra quality time with Mark and Helen. It was worth the wait. I hadn’t eaten that well for some time!

Attendees included: Mark & Helen (hosts), Dave, Jeff, Paul, and new to the scene – Branden & Nichole. Jeff and Paul are not too frequent attendees to these spectacular events (not sure why) so it was nice to see them. Branden and Nichole – well, they are new to the area so I guess that might be a reason. Anyway, welcome!

OK I put this off long enough – the eagerly anticipated Dorothy Door Report: The DDs were OPEN! Those who are familiar with Mark’s abode know how important the DDs are. Having direct access to the man cave from outside should not be under estimated. Although, I am a bit concerned about Helen’s nearby roses growing wildly out of control. I fear that they may cover and conceal the Dorothy Doors so that they will be lost for the remainder of the summer season only to be rediscovered when the weather and temperatures are not favorable for DD use. I’m sure Mark will take this into consideration.

Mark isn’t known for much but what he is know for are his FAQs that he creatively adds to his email invitations. In fact, Mark’s FAQs were the inspiration for the FQA section at this site. I find Mark’s FAQs inspirational and entertaining. Others – maybe not so much. To give you a taste of his work, I will include a number of them from his invitation to this event here (with slight editing as needed to ensure safety and happiness). I hope they are not copyrighted because they are being used without permission.

“The annual End of the Fiscal Year Grill and Brew Fest will take place on Thursday, June 30 at my house. You are invited. The Dorothy Doors will be open. Below are the FAQ.”

FAQ

Q What time does this exciting event begin?

A For me it has already started. Things will pick up in the late morning of the 30th and carry through til early evening. I anticipate the primary fellowship opportunity to be from early to late afternoon, approximately 1:38pm to 5:11pm.

Q Where will this awesome activity take place?

A My house (I believe that was covered in the invitation) – N Main St. Racine.

Q What should I wear?

A Suit and tie is not necessary but, as always, I do ask that you dress professional so we can keep up appearances.

Q Why didn’t you send out the invitation earlier?

A Seriously? EVERYBODY knows that we celebrate the end of the fiscal year at the end of the fiscal year! And EVERYBODY knows that the end of the fiscal year is June 30. And EVERYBODY knows that invitations are not supposed to go out more that 48 hours before said event.

Q Why isn’t June 31 the end of the fiscal yearr?

A Look at a calendar

Q What can I bring?

A Great question. I will have lots of beer and grilled stuff but if you feel compelled to bring something, any of the following will be acceptable:

• A pound or so of cheese curds.
• A bag of pretzels (new bag, not that half empty bag in your pantry filled with stale, partially crushed ones).
• A growler of the Winter Warmer, an ironic beer for this time of year.
• 10 meat sticks from Danny’s – don’t buy five and cut them in half. I will know.
• A couple of packages of button mushrooms.
• A bag of chips with the same requirements as the pretzels.
• 6-8 cobs of corn. Make sure it is sweet corn and not popcorn or field corn.
• Nickels
• 4pk, 6pk, or 12 pk of Pseudo Sue. Make sure it’s not expired. Just because it’s been sitting at the bottom of your beer fridge and you didn’t drink it in time means it’s acceptable to pawn it off on the rest of us. I will know.
• A bag of large shrimp (20count or so) They need to be the size of a baby’s arm.
• Coleslaw – the good stuff, not the leftover half eaten container from when you went to KFC last week.
• A pound or two of tiger meat – make sure its the good stuff and doesn’t have any bad stuff in it. 
• Chips and salsa and/or guacamole – it better be good
• A container of Utz pub mix – make sure its fresh and not old stale stale stuff your cat ate out of.
• A bag of Chex Mix – again, it has to be a new bag.

Q Since you did not help me move into my apartment on Sunday, is it ok if I just show up and not bring anything?

A Fair enough

Q Is it ok if I bring a nice vegetable tray with healthy stuff like carrots and celery?

A No. Stick to the list or don’t bring anything.

Q If I have another home brew or a really good brew that is not on the list is it ok if I bring it?

A Yes, but you better tread lightly. We have high standards.

Q What are the nickels for?

A Sheephead

Q I don’t know how to play sheephead Is it ok if I just watch?

A Sure. We understand. There is a lot of math involved. It’s not for everybody.

Q What are Dorothy Doors?

A Have you never watched the Wizard of Oz? Your parents have failed you.

Q What beers will you have on tap in your glorious beer fridge?

A Mark’s Magnificent Maibock and Father Bread Evil. You can read more about them atFieldpointe.netAlthough I believe the brewmaster incorrectly labeled them as House Ale and Maibock II (EDITOR’S NOTE: This is NOT the correct address for this brew blog. You greatly disappoint me, Mark. Follow it at your own risk. Correct site: Well, you know it because you are at it now.)

Q Will you have anything else available to drink besides beer?

A An endless supply of tap water

Q What will you be brewing?

A We (and I mean Jerry) will be brewing a Zombie Dust clone which shall be named the Fabulous Fiscal Finish or something else. (Zombie Dust would be another acceptable beer to bring to this spectacular occasion, provided it’s fresh and not been sitting in your garage or the trunk of your car for the past year or so)

Q What will you be grilling?

A TBD We shall see what inspires me tomorrow as I meet with my butcher.

Q Did you already pick up the necessary brewing materials?

A Sort of. Mark at DP Wigley had to substitute some items for what he deemed to be “close enough.” Might be interesting.

Q Since I am a young buck, fresh out of the halls of MLC, what else should I know?

A You may want to bring your ID in case you get carded. Jerry is a stickler.

As indicated above, Mark had the responsibility of picking up the brewing supplies for the Fabulous Fiscal Finish. And yes, he did substitute due to supply chain issues or something other. Regardless, we brewed it and it will be fine. It is going to be a dark IPA – not a Cascadian Dark but definitely a darker version of past variations. For those wanting (or needing) to make the connection, this brew is yet another rendition of the Zombie recipes found on this site.

So what did Mark pick up? Good question. Most of the items I could identify. The exception is the one pound of mystery grain that was not labeled. Here it is:

Grain

• 1 lb – Mystery (as in not known) – Steeped

Extracts

• 2 lb – Golden Light DME (Briess)
• 3.3 lb – Goldpils Vienna LME (Briess)
• 3.3 lb – Pale Ale LME (Briess)

Hops

• 1 oz – Citra @ 60 minutes
• 1 oz – Citra @ 20 minutes
• 1 oz – Citra @ 10 minutes
• 1 oz – Citra @ 5 minutes
• 1 oz – Citra @ 0 minutes
• 2 oz – Citra Dry – Hop: Fermentor
• 3 oz – Citra Dry – Hop: Keg

Yeast

• 2 Packs – SafAle S-04 (Fermentis)

No anticipated analysis has been made for this brew session since readings are rarely, if ever, taken and this recipe has not been entered into brewing software. You are free to do so yourself as you desire.

I was unaware that annual fiscal year end celebrations could be so joyous. Getting together with friends (and Mark), enjoying good food and sharing brews was indeed fabulous.Thanks to all!